It has almost been a month since the diagnoses and the doctor says I am in partial remission already. I am surprised that it has been less than a month and I already reached the halfway point of remission. Now I have a long way to go with many things. The doctor is looking for genetic remission which will take longer and ultimately mean another Bone Marrow Test. Thank God that won't be for a while.
Hold please while we experience an earthquake. . . .OK, it is over.
Anyways . . . Jeff and I were reflecting a couple of weeks ago about what has happened in our lives the past few years but also why things happened in the order that they did. Like having Breann when we did. It was unexpected, not planned and a shock to Jeff and I. I remember telling someone (I won't mention any names) that there is a reason why Jeff and I had Breann at this time. My hope though at that time and still is that she is going to be someone great and change the world in some way. The truth is God gave her to us then is because if we waited till now we wouldn't have her. I would not be able to experience having a child and get to see her smile, laugh, sing, and play with Izzy. I do believe that I will understand later in my life why God has given me leukemia and I feel that there will be a lesson learned from this. Whether the lesson is for me or someone else to learn, there is always a lesson. I feel that life is a learning experience. Any situation you find yourself in no matter how big or small you can always learn something from it.
Keep Smiling.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia (CML)
A lot of thought will be going into this blog. Not because I am trying to sort my thoughts but more I want my thoughts to come across the way they are meant too.
Let's Begin . . . a week ago last Friday I went to Kaiser to have a routine blood test done in the morning. When I got home I ate breakfast and prepared Breann for daycare. Jeff and I ran a few errands together, then went back home to pick-up Breann and clean the house for our open house we were having that weekend. I was on a roll on cleaning my house because I wanted to join my friend Sara and the junior highers at Parkcrest for a few hours while they were planning on having an all-nighter. Around 5:30pm my mother-n-law receives a phone call from her friends at work saying that Kaiser is trying to get a hold of me and it is very important that they do. At that time I looked at my cell phone which was in the other room and realized I had 2 missed calls from Kaiser. My phone rang again and I picked up and a doctor was on the line. To make a long story even longer. I had to go to the E.R. and have my blood drawn again for another work-up. The doctor came in and basically told me they think I have leukemia and want to observe me overnight. Well, that overnight turned into a couple of nights at the hospital while I had tests performed on me. The worst being the bone marrow test.
Many people asked how I am doing, how I am feeling, what do I think of the whole situation, I even have people who are mad that this is happening to me. Yet for me, I am not mad or upset that I have leukemia. I think to myself, "OK . . . I have leukemia what are my options and what is the best thing for me to do." I am lucky that I could rely on my family and friends around me for support and comfort but nothing could have prepared me for the option I was going to have to take at this time. The funny thing is this option is a miracle plan for people like me and I can live a long and happy life with one exception . . . the chances of having another child is slim to none.
Now many of you don't know but Jeff and I were planning on having another baby next year. With the intentions that other things fall into place and Jeff finds a job. Well earlier in the week Jeff found a job and we both could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was becoming more and more excited to the idea of being pregnant again and Breann having a sibling. Finding out that pregnancy was not an option was the worse news of all to me. Other people thought that was more like a side note and I can't blame them, my health is more important to them then another child in the world. Yet to me and my selfish needs I wanted another child, I wanted to go through the experience of being pregnant, I want to sing to my belly and tell Breann that her baby brother or sister is in my belly. I had several moments where I would break down and cry and pray to God that he would find away around this. No answer yet but I am willing to wait. I really have to thank Jeff because he is looking into all the possibilities for me to have a normal life and the chance of having another baby. He is also working hard with the World Financial Group in starting his own finance business so if I am unable to work at any point our family wouldn't have to worry about what is going to happen next with the house, car or whatever. He even started a donation fund to help pay for the medical bills that insurance won't pay for and to make sure I can get the best care there is. Well this blog has been an emotional one and I still have more I would like to reflect on but I think it is time to take a break and rest for a while. I will save the rest for another day.
Keep Smiling.
Let's Begin . . . a week ago last Friday I went to Kaiser to have a routine blood test done in the morning. When I got home I ate breakfast and prepared Breann for daycare. Jeff and I ran a few errands together, then went back home to pick-up Breann and clean the house for our open house we were having that weekend. I was on a roll on cleaning my house because I wanted to join my friend Sara and the junior highers at Parkcrest for a few hours while they were planning on having an all-nighter. Around 5:30pm my mother-n-law receives a phone call from her friends at work saying that Kaiser is trying to get a hold of me and it is very important that they do. At that time I looked at my cell phone which was in the other room and realized I had 2 missed calls from Kaiser. My phone rang again and I picked up and a doctor was on the line. To make a long story even longer. I had to go to the E.R. and have my blood drawn again for another work-up. The doctor came in and basically told me they think I have leukemia and want to observe me overnight. Well, that overnight turned into a couple of nights at the hospital while I had tests performed on me. The worst being the bone marrow test.
Many people asked how I am doing, how I am feeling, what do I think of the whole situation, I even have people who are mad that this is happening to me. Yet for me, I am not mad or upset that I have leukemia. I think to myself, "OK . . . I have leukemia what are my options and what is the best thing for me to do." I am lucky that I could rely on my family and friends around me for support and comfort but nothing could have prepared me for the option I was going to have to take at this time. The funny thing is this option is a miracle plan for people like me and I can live a long and happy life with one exception . . . the chances of having another child is slim to none.
Now many of you don't know but Jeff and I were planning on having another baby next year. With the intentions that other things fall into place and Jeff finds a job. Well earlier in the week Jeff found a job and we both could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was becoming more and more excited to the idea of being pregnant again and Breann having a sibling. Finding out that pregnancy was not an option was the worse news of all to me. Other people thought that was more like a side note and I can't blame them, my health is more important to them then another child in the world. Yet to me and my selfish needs I wanted another child, I wanted to go through the experience of being pregnant, I want to sing to my belly and tell Breann that her baby brother or sister is in my belly. I had several moments where I would break down and cry and pray to God that he would find away around this. No answer yet but I am willing to wait. I really have to thank Jeff because he is looking into all the possibilities for me to have a normal life and the chance of having another baby. He is also working hard with the World Financial Group in starting his own finance business so if I am unable to work at any point our family wouldn't have to worry about what is going to happen next with the house, car or whatever. He even started a donation fund to help pay for the medical bills that insurance won't pay for and to make sure I can get the best care there is. Well this blog has been an emotional one and I still have more I would like to reflect on but I think it is time to take a break and rest for a while. I will save the rest for another day.
Keep Smiling.
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